The Heart Won't Lie

Even before my husband and I talked about having a baby, I read blogs about infertility.  I googled infertility terms.  I knew in my heart that we would have a hard time having a baby.  Although, as any woman would, I hoped that my heart was wrong.  When we starting trying to have a baby in January of 2011, I was so excited about the possibility of ending 2011 as a family of three.  It wasn't until a close family member announced her pregnancy in November of 2011 that it hit me hard - our infertility issues are real.  From that moment on, I avoided certain family gatherings and situations so that I wouldn't have to answer the dreaded question - "when are y'all going to have a baby?" 

After a little over a year of trying, I talked to my regular OB/GYN about my concerns.  She said to try ovulation predictor kits for three months and come back to see her.  After three months of no success, Chris and I made an appointment to see her again for a fertility consultation.  At one point during the consultation, she said to us "well, it took ME three months to get pregnant, and I KNEW what I was doing."  Say what, lady?  I had to remind her that it's been a year and three months... not just three months.  Although she continued to be dismissive of our concerns, she agreed to start the tests that we'd need to have done prior to seeing a fertility specialist.  Once we had them done, and decided to wait a little longer before seeing the specialist.

After a year and a half of trying, we made an appointment to see a fertility specialist.  During our initial consultation, she looked over our test results, and we just talked.  I tried very hard not to cry... but... I did.  She said that we should start with medicine to help induce ovulation.  I tried the medicine during November, but it didn't work.  Next go-round, the dose will double, and we'll see what happens and where we go from there.

After almost two years, we are still a family of two. But in the past two years, we have grown closer together through our struggle.  We have taken advantage of our unexpectidely long time as a married couple without children - we slept-in on the weekends, we went to movies on the spur of the moment, we spent long-weekends in San Antonio (one of my favorite places to visit), and we took week-long vacations (cruising is fun!).  No matter where this journey leads, we have eachother.